If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
