I'm laying in your front yard are you home
just tell him i said nine months
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
the day after is always just damage control
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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