meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
try to milk me bitch
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