oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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