Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
