Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
