she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize