Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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