I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize