She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
organizing the empties. That sober.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
