You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
