I wish I could punch you in the face.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
