You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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