why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
