I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
