The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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