If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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