I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
