Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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