we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
