Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
im having a threesome with these popsicles
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
