marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
why didn't you poke me back
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
