we have officially lost it.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
