Already got asked if we're dating
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
we're so committed to being not committed
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize