you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
