Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
