Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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