I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
