I want to make a zoo with you.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize