It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
