did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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