After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The uberlube is also flammable
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
