so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize