you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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