id be glad to
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
A bitchslap is in order.
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