She said her name was "party"
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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