you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
The best revenge is premature balding
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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