Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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