they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
