By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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