I hate all girls vehemently.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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