This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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