I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
