She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
