Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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