haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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