just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
