Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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