Are we in a gay sports bar?
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize