whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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