i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
