a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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