I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
