I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Damn victory sex feels great
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
