you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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