After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
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