Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
