He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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