Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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