I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
