there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
