sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
