i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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